“Hey Srijana, I am feeling deficient, I am clueless about what to do, it’s painful…can we talk?“
“Yes definitely.”
And their talking goes on for hours and hours. Even keeping my boyfriend on hold and asking him to either sleep or wait until I was done healing my friend would always be my first choice because I was a damn people pleaser. Getting up until late at night to please people, listening to and helping them, giving them suggestions, and sometimes giving my own examples of how worst situation than them I was in so that they can feel good about themselves…I did all that. But these friends of mine never cared to appear and ask me in good times. When everything in their life was going well, they barely remembered me. I can recall just 2 or 3 friends of mine who contact me no matter what situation they are in. Other than that most of them are too busy in their world and don’t remember me until they bump up into another big trouble.
It’s fine those were things I did in my past. Growing up now it feels funny to recall how innocent and naive I was. Why did it never occur to me to think to focus on myself, keep myself in first? Why did I make myself so easily available?
Guys, being self-focused is not bad. Keeping yourself as the first priority is never going to be wrong. In the end, it is only you with whom you are going to be forever until you live. Rest, people will keep coming to and moving out of your life. I have faced my closest friends disappearing over the years from my life. Life moves on with or without people. Hence, focusing on yourself will never go wrong. Never in life, compromise yourself and your feelings to keep another person happy. No matter who it is.
You gotta remember the fact that you cannot save everyone… in fact, you cannot save anyone. I learned many things the hard way in my own life and I wouldn’t have learned them had anyone talked to me about them and the same goes for others too. Few things are better experienced to learn better. You have all the rights in the world to say “hey, listen, I have enough problems of my own, so I might not be a great listener for you right now”. Common, being honest will save a fortune of respect for you. People will think thrice before breaching your boundaries. They will learn to respect and value you. Be straightforward regarding your feelings. Don’t let people come easily close to you. Stay unapproachable, and live the best life possible!
I completely felt the depth of the words! Very insightful writing!